As a professional Coach I am often told that one of the most powerful things that I can do with a client is to listen. Sounds so straight forward doesn’t it?!
I believe that this is the most precious of skills in the toolkit of a Coach. I was given this last week and I think it describes the power of listening so beautifully…
When I Ask You To Listen
When I ask you to listen to me and you start giving advice you have not done what I asked.
When I ask you to listen to me and you begin to tell me why I shouldn’t feel that way, you are trampling on my feelings.
When I ask you to listen to me and you feel you have to do something to solve my problem you have failed me, strange as that may seem.
Listen! All I asked, was that you listen, not talk or do – just hear me.
When you do something for me that I can and need to do for myself, you contribute to my fear and weakness.
But, when you accept as a simple fact that I do feel what I feel, no matter how irrational, then I can quit trying to convince you and can get about the business of understanding what’s behind this irrational feeling.
And when that’s clear, the answers are obvious and I don’t need advice.
Irrational feelings make sense when we understand what’s behind them.
So please listen and just hear me. And if you want to talk, wait a minute for your turn; And I’ll listen to you.
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